Disappointed. Disgruntled. Bitter = Just Lazy !

P.S. - Ron Swanson has nothing to do with this blog but Eh!

Your life is your life.
Your dreams are your dreams.
Your vision is yours and the dream to stay happy belongs to you.

Giving somebody else the responsibility to make you happy, make you complete, achieve your dreams for you is nothing but you insulting your own dreams and proving how inappropriate are you for your own self.

Every time you feel the urge to blame her, yell at him, christen her as insensitive or call him heartless , remind yourself that you are just doing it all to cover up for the fact about how unsuccessful you have been in doing your job for yourself in the first place. How you are manipulating facts and trying to avoid the real culprit here - You!

If you break down your entire life, you will realise how much percentage of time you have wasted in running away from your own self and fabricating stories of how he/she let you down or disappointed you about your own dreams and happiness. You have been blaming him/her for the one thing that was supposed to be beautiful and entirely your own - Your vision of your own life.

Instead of pinning your hopes on a third person, instead of labelling another human being your child/spouse/partner/sibling/friend and burden them with your own expectations and let him/her be, let them take care of their own life.

If in the journey of you achieving the goals of your own lives, your paths cross and if you can happily meet the other human being instead of a label whilst content with your own journey of life , that is where the real magic happens ,  humanity happens !

बहुत दिन से पाओं नहीं छुए

आज पूरा एक साल हुआ मुझे पाओ छुए

आज पूरा एक साल हुआ facetime पे मुलाक़ात करते हुए 

एक साल हुआ पूरे दिन का हाल " 90 सेकंड में दिन भर की समाचार" जैसे 

एक साल हुआ त्यौहार के दिन skype पे दिया करते हुए 

एक साल हुआ लाखो मील दूर बैठे बैठे अपने ही  देश पे टीका टिप्पणी करते हुए 

एक साल गुज़र गया दिल और दिमाग के द्वंद्व में रेफ़री बनते हुए 

आज पूरा एक साल हुआ मुझे पाओ छुए। 

फैशन शो २१वि सदी का ..

आज जो मैं निकली गली से , मैं निकली नयी गली से

जो मैंने सुना  जो मैंने देखा , दिखा मुझे एक भेड़िया भेड़  की खाल में ,

गौर से सुना मैंने उस मासूम पुकार को , दिखाई  दिया मुझे एक बढ़ा सा जाल  

दिखा मुझे वो शैतान बच्चा हर घर के बरामदे में , दिखा मुझे वो हर किसी इंसान  में।

ज्यों मैंने नज़र दौड़ाई  त्यों मैंने देखा ये नया फैशन तो सर चढ़ रहा हैं दुनिया में ,
यूथ में , बातों ही बातों में, कामचोरी में और सीना जोरी में
क्रिकेट के बाद अगर कोई हमारा मन बहलाने लगा था  तो वो था बात बात पे रोना
ज़िन्दगी की छोटी छोटी बातो पर अपना आप खोना।

हमारे पूर्वज रोते थे दिल टूटने पर, दो वक़्त की  रोटी ना होने पर
स्वास्थय की हानि  पर या दुनिया की गरीबी पर ,
हम रोते हैं कॉफ़ी ना होने पर , जीरो साइज कमर ना होने पर
नौकरी में ईगो की मेहमान नवाज़ी ना होने पर ,  रिश्तो में सोशल मीडिया की ख्याति ना होने पर। 

सोमवार था इस नए फैशन का पहला निशाना , हफ्ते की शुरुआत को उसने खूब मनहूस बनाया 

सोमवार बेचारा खड़ा था कौने में , बोला मैं तो कितने सालो से आता हूँ  ,

पर आजकल हंगामा हैं क्यों  बरपा जो हफ्ते का शटर उठाया 

मंडे ने बताया " अब मैं   फेसबुक पर  नहीं जाता क्यूंकि वहाँ अब मैं आतंकवाद से भी निचले स्तर पर आता हूँ"।

इस फैशन ने फिर लैंगिक समानता (gender equality ) को पकड़ा , बहुत लोगो को इस चकर घिन्नी में जकड़ा 
स्री  जाती  भूल गयी के असली आज़ादी  का मतलब  हैं अपने ही आप से हर रोज़ एक सर्वश्रेष्ठ महिला बनना  ,

पर बेचारी अबला नारी फिर कैद हो गयी अब एक नए जाल में और समाज की जगह  एक नया जेलर पकड़ा
बन गयी वह  फिर अपनी ही ईगो की  ग़ुलाम और कर दिया ऐलान के हमे भी हैं मर्दो जैसा बनना ।

इस फैशन शो में हिस्सा लिया सब जवानो ने बढ़ चढ़ के , खोला फेसबुक और लग गए जान हित में 
कीबोर्ड को बनाया हथियार और बाटने लगे ज्ञान , निकाल दी दस लाख गलतियां दुनिया में , देश में, प्यार करने में ,शादी करने  में , माँ बाप में ,
पर जब बोला उन्ही घुड़सवारों को ,  अगर सवाल लाये हो तो हल भी बताओ भाई
पर ये क्या ! दस गाली अलग  सुनाई और लॉगआउट करने में दो क्षण की देर ना लगाई।  

White is White, Black is black and You are an Idiot!

Once upon a time when you were a kid, times when you knew no political parties no career
When the only things about crayons and laughters you said were , the more the merrier!
When the word pastels took you to another land
When the set of 24 shades were your magic wand.

Let's go back to that time and try to remember each color thick
There was a white , a black, a blue, a beige and a gray stick.
You colored those birds , those roads, those dark skies a wonderful shade of gray
You lived in the world with love for each color in the hay.

So now that you are grown up and have no joy
So now you don't play anymore with your toy.
I see on you,  innocence is a lost sentiment
I hear all you carry are crass opinions and resentment.

I am amused by your understanding of the world, of me
I am speechless when you call your right my right and your wrong my limitation.
At your denial of the existence of gray in every livin' being , every situation
Sir I wonder if to the museum full of fossils your school of thinking got an invitation

I see that you are highly educated but hardly learned
With no knowledge of me and mine you judge me , Oh! you nudge me !
I hear you judging me beneath your breath of my color, my creed, my food, my sexuality
With no consent of mine and no right of yours, i still see your conversations hovering around me.

You act like you lived my past, lived my emotions
You grieve like you cried my tears,  smiled through  tears of me.
You act heroic like you fought my wars , danced in my celebrations
Madam it must have been tough living you as you and also you as me.

I imagine you looking up from the cave you live in and wonder the sanctity of white
How your notion of right is the only right and no amount of education could sway that!
I imagine you throwing yourself deeper in the abyss while cringing at the darkness of black
How you dismiss even the idea of a different point of view and continue to have your brain as a hat.

I see how you get offended by my language, my accent, my faith, my turban, my veil
I see how you try to define my feelings for me and christen thy self my Creator you say!
I have sense of my humor, sense of my dressing, sense of my relation with God and sense of my being
I wish if only you could pause and relive the first time you saw a pack of crayons, you will see a white, a black and a gray .

To bathe or not to bathe!

Disclaimer - The whole narration of events is only for the kings and queens of procastrination.. aadarsh baalak aur baalikaayein please avoid this series of lazy events ..


I live in Delhi and Kilograms of mucus in my rumaal and on my mind tells me its November,
I wonder why Sweet Billie Joe did not ask to be woken up when freaking winter ended and not harmless September!

Every Morning just when your alarm has abused his elegant arse off for 10th time in a row
Your mind sets off on a ninja battle with its evil twin who wishes nothing but to get you fired,
Many objects and emotions appear bigger than they are in that decisive moment - The mind numbing temperature of the marble  floor or fog by the window
But hell lets loose when brain decides to dress up as puppy eyes, looks down in your real eyes and ask "all this hectic life, aren't you tired?!"

Some days with a simple mathematics and low morality you can afford to take that innocent leave of absence..
But there are days when the excuses made in past laugh at your helplessness in the present,
You then muster up all the courage left in your veins and decide to plunge in the sole reason of your existence..
But One step on that remarkably son of a bitch cold floor, and there you are crying how wrong were you to ever get up from inside that quilt!

Some days you may have slippers by your bed, geyser working perfectly fine and time to treat your frozen nerves with a glorious tea
But (Kim Kardashian BUT) mistake you not my friend! None of those glorious days happen to fall in the winters , at least not with me!
My winter mornings are as chaotic and senseless as a Humshakal movie scene, do not wonder about which one,
The slippers are a mystery Sir Pradyuman cannot find, Oh there you may spot one but where the hell is another one!

Once the make belief pair of matching slippers is acquired cometh the task of brushing thy teetheth ,
In less than a minute, the routine of oral hygiene is executed thinking who needs a dentist!
As you turn away from the oval wash basin, arrives the question of life an death,
Should you stick to the golden rule of alternate days or be a man/lady to face  up to a shower  tryst ?!

The whole bathroom saga which  once appeared impossible ends, you stand there in front of your cupboard contemplating to iron the crumpled t-shirt or wear it like a boss,
And just when you are smiling at yourself basking in the victory of your decisive powers, You realize you will have to catch your bus again running across!

The moisturizer, the lip balm, the badaam, the akhrots wakes from the dead and become your biggest challenges in that foggy morning,
The edge of the table you hit your toe with and the blood that freezes become your daily life and its mourning.

I live in Delhi and Kilograms of mucus in my rumaal and on my mind tells me its November,
I wonder why Sweet Billie Joe did not ask to be woken up when freaking winter ended and not harmless September!

Shaadi.Com, You the man!

Just Yesterday i turned 25,
My mom gave my dad a virtual hi five

I was confused, i was clueless and not really interested
Not until the moment my dad asked me to give him 3 photos in suit, he added "would be nice if the original me was editted"

Without much thought i gave him the photos and went on to continue with my life
Again not until i returned home one day and my mom looked tearry eyed at me and said "You are gonna soon be a wife"

Mommy said lets go out in the world and find somebody who shall understand your soul
For which i learnt the best way was to visit multiple online forums and choose on the basis of what? well! height and package that should be very tall!

Poor eligible grooms and their mommies and daddies ferociously searching for a bride a perfect army of 100 virtues in one slender tall fair.. my bad! Very fair and pretty cook
They did not stop there but added their pretty preference of somebody traditional but with modern outlook

Educated men with Kilograms of degrees and KiloLitres of sophistication demanded the brides to be sweet, homely and not broken for even a fraction
Ofcourse the matrimonials is a big wall of fame and these douche - bags are the centres of attraction

Without checking my facts i can claim guy with the height 5'2"" is not tall and a big beer belly does not qualify for athletic son!
But oh dear Lord! They got 99 problems but expecting a super model to marry him and make "gol chapaatis" ain't one!

For now i am an Associate in LalaLand
Browsing through emails from boss and managing garland in the other hand

Hope Dear Shaadi.com and sensible jeevansaathi.com find me my soul mate
Until then can the "blissfully married" aunties around me get a life or get laid but leave me to my own fate ! 

Comfort Zone - My new Postal address!

I was born in Delhi in a house of brick and mortar perfectly cemented,
It is a pretty house with all that i would need but not everything i wanted.

As a child, answer to the question "where do you live" was a straightforward  pin code and a street number,
But as i grew up the very question started to pinch me and made me wonder.

For the naked eye i seemed to be living in the same house with same old fragrance,
But a wise man or a nosy relative or a drunk pseudo - philosopher friend could see Comfort Zone was my new correspondence address with only what i thought or deemed fit to exist, different from my residence.

I don't know when and i wouldn't know how i built that Goddamned comfort zone brick by brick,
but it definitely was one hell of a place i could not escape no matter whatever was the trick.

I don't know if I lived in it or it fed on my lack of ambition in life,
But Boy could I ever even imagine to do anything that i could not bring back to my home called comfort zone which was nothing less than a possessive evil wife .

Anything with a surname like "New" or "Different" or "Unusual" was not just UN - invited but also UN -attended  ,
Oh You cruel comfort zone you never let me meet strangers or do anything new, i am sorry are you my some useless jealous husband ?

I wonder now who gave this hell of a place its name, comfort zone ain't too comfortable if u ask me through,
I ain't comfortable seeing a new dream, i ain't comfortable executing a new routine and i am exhaustingly uncomfortable even considering a different point of view

Every weekend I sit in my comfort zone like its some shitty dungeon`except for a comfortable couch and wifi connectivity
I surf interesting locations, better career opportunities, quarter packages of gym and as battery of my laptop begins to die I flush all "inter-comfort zone" thoughts with a cola and burp obviously not so pretty.

I have come to realize through the context of this poem, that i should conclude it with some noble thought or some quick fix to evade from this evil comfort zone,
But Alas the mistress doesn't let go of  its prey, thus any inspiring or motivating quote holds no place in a comfort zone this old. 2 minutes of mourn!